IVF Round 1
“What precedes your next rise is a season of struggle.”
From the moment we headed down this path, I committed to sharing my story — the good, the bad, the ugly.
Because if I’ve learned anything over the last 7 months, the ups and downs of infertility are like nothing you’ve experienced before. And no matter how much you read or the stories you hear, until you’re in it — you just don’t know.
I shared our testing story and my surgery recovery from a septate uterus + discovery of mild endometriosis in this post.
Now, we are here.
To all my fellow warriors —
I see you. • I feel you. • I am grateful for you.
While this journey is lonely, frustrating, emotionally + physically draining, and a total mind f*ck — I’ve also met some of the most amazing women who are currently on this road with me or who have gone before to pave the way.
I am here for a reason. To learn and grow in ways I could not have done otherwise both personally and professionally.
CLOMID + TWo iui
After my surgery, we were given the option to try naturally for 6-months to “see what happens” — but if any of you know me I’m a planner and figured if we’d already been trying and nothing happened before our initial consult might as well get a little extra help.
So in April I went down the Clomid rabbit hole — taking 100mg days 3-7. It actually didn’t affect me as badly as what I read on-line (mild headaches only). I ended up “ready” pretty quickly so we triggered with Ovidrel on day 11 and inseminated on day 12 with 2 good sized follicles.
During the two week wait (TTW), I was cautiously (naively?) optimistic. When we got the beta blood tests back and they were negative it wasn’t a big deal — IUIs are cumulative and there’s such a small chance.
For round 2 in May we kept the Clomid dose the same, but added more monitoring to make sure we got the trigger right. I ended up triggering on day 10 with one dominate follicle and having the procedure on day 12. This time around my doctor put me on vaginal Estrace (estrogen) to help build my uterine lining as last time it was on the thinner side.
TWW… negative.
We could have done one more round of IUI at this point, but our sperm count was on the lower side for successful IUIs and I figured if I’m already adding all these chemicals and hormones to my body let’s just do the real thing. (For full transparency, I should note that our insurance is very generous and covers a large portion of fertility treatments including IVF so it was an easier decision to make financially for us. We are beyond blessed and grateful for this.)
IVF Round One
My clinic batches their IVF sessions, meaning they only stimulate and do egg retrievals during certain weeks. Luckily, my period after that second IUI fell perfectly with their batching cycle so we could go directly into their June cycle.
I started birth control on Day 3 after blood work to control and down regulate my ovaries — the thinking is that it helps follicles grow in unison. Twelve days of BC + a week of antibiotics (hated this the most) and then on day one of my bleed call the office for a follicle scan to confirm STIM start (aka: shots, shots, shots).
I was on what’s called the agonist/antagonist protocol with Follistim, Menapur, and Ganirelix to stimulate my eggs while also preventing them from prematurely ovulating. We triggered 12 days after STIM started with retrieval 36 hours later.
Honestly giving myself shots wasn’t that bad — I hyped it up in my head before we started but it became routine and I knew that every prick was helping us reach our goal of creating a family. Yes, I was a bit swollen and bruised and at the end it felt like their were rocks in my ovaries — but again, all for the greater good!
After retrieval is the hardest part in my opinion — recovering from the surgery, feeling super bloated, and doing everything you can to prevent Ovarian Hyper-stimulation Syndrome. I rested for 3 days with short walks to help move fluid through my body + lots of fluids (tea, coconut water, water) and a higher protein diet helped.
Not only is your body on hormone overdrive — you’re also playing the waiting game. I told my friend that it feels like a sporting event — this many eggs retrieved, this many fertilized, this many made it to day 6, this many were or weren’t genetically normal…
Each step is either amazing news or leaves you broken. You never know what you’re going to hear on the other end of that phone call.
For us — we were cautiously optimistic. I’m a 35 year old nutritionist after all. We eat healthy, exercise, have great bloodwork, take supplements, and manage stress.
Our stats:
10x retrieved
6x mature
4x fertilized (ICSI)
3x at Day 3
2x at Day 5
1x at Day 6*
1x at Day 7 for freezing + PGTZero genetically normal embryos
*The lone Day 6 embryo wasn’t looking great and while still growing, it didn’t have a defined trophectoderm which means it couldn’t be biopsied for genetic testing. Our doctor gave us the choice to let it grow another day to “declare” itself. We did, and it grew! A small light amidst it all… but genetic testing came back abnormal.
So — here we are.
ZERO.
I thought we’d at least have one. That’s all it takes, right?
After a few weeks of going inward and processing it all, I’m okay with where we are. Turns out my egg quality isn’t the best which is hard for me to grasp, but now I’m taking supplements to help build them up and we have a plan in place for what to do differently next time in terms of STIM meds.
I’m also reading this book each morning in addition to my meditation practice and journaling. If IVF requires anything — it’s mental stamina and a deep, unwavering knowing of your true self. Yes, you need to be strong physically, but supporting your mental health and embracing self-love in the face of adversity is what’s keeping me grounded, centered, and hopeful.
If IVF requires anything — it’s mental stamina and a deep, unwavering knowing of your true self.
Learning to Flow
In 5-months time, I had surgery to fix my uterus and remove mild endometriosis lesions from my abdomen, took hormones for a month to heal my uterine lining, went through two rounds of medicated IUI, and one round of IVF stimulation. All while building The reFRESH Society, starting a master’s degree, and navigating a global pandemic.
My ovaries were put through the wringer and I pushed them to IVF when what they really needed was a break.
So what’s next? We rest and regroup for a bit in order to work on my egg quality with supplements.
It feels amazing to be hormone free at the moment. Letting my body do what it does naturally — loving it up with real food + daily movement and finding small moments of joy each day.
